| Can I Come Look At These Items? | | This online store is in association with Amazon.com, so these great, high-qualiy products will come from their warehouse or from other partners. Thanks for shopping! |
|
|
|
Between Fathers and Daughters: Enriching and Rebuilding Your Adult Relationship | 
 enlarge | Author: Linda Nielsen
Publisher: Cumberland House Publishing
Category: Book
List Price: $16.95
Buy New: $10.11
You Save: $6.84 (40%)
New (22) Used (11) from $7.95
Avg. Customer Rating:  7 reviews
Sales Rank: 139109
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 320
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.3
Dimensions (in): 8.6 x 5.8 x 0.6
ISBN: 1581826613
Dewey Decimal Number: 646.78
EAN: 9781581826616
ASIN: 1581826613
Publication Date: September 1, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Shipping: Expedited shipping available
Condition: 100% Brand New! - Ships Today! Identical to Amazon's book in every way. Flawless! Not a cheap Remainder or Book Club Copy! *We recommend Expedited Shipping option for much faster mail delivery
|
| Also Available In:
|
| Similar Items:
|
| Editorial Reviews:
Product Description
Entertaining, insightful, and packed with no-nonsense advice, this is the perfect guide for dads and daughters who want more from their relationship - or who want to understand and rebuild their relationship on an adult level.With candour and humour, "Between Fathers & Daughters" exposes the half-truths, downright lies, and family dynamics that prevent so many dads and daughters from having a more relaxed, more meaningful, more communicative relationship, regardless of age.Filled with eye-opening facts, tough questions, personal assignments, father-daughter activities, even quizzes, it guides readers on a personal journey to discover the full potential of their relationship, and the sheer joy it can bring to everyone involved.
|
| Customer Reviews: Read 2 more reviews...
 A must read November 5, 2008
Reviewed by Carol Hoyer, PhD, for Reader Views (11/08)
Dr. Nielsen has written one of the most interesting, comprehensive books on relationships between fathers and daughters. She is funny and very straight to the point, but never makes the reader feel guilty or ashamed.
With so many adult women coming from homes where abuse, neglect or tension filled the air, this book will help all. Dr. Nielsen covers myths we all grew up with, rebellion that happens during the teen years and strained relationships because of communication that has broken down.
By taking the quizzes (both daughter and dad) can go on a journey to improve their relationships. Her information on why relationships break down was very informative to this reviewer. After reading the book, I had a better understanding of my own daughter and her father. I was truly amazed at the "signs" I ignored.
There wasn't one chapter that stood out-- they all were informative and made one think. Dr. Nielsen covers giving and taking advice, improving communication, and getting to know absent fathers. This is just a few of the topics. You will have to get "Between Fathers & Daughters" and read it. In fact, my daughter just took it home to read.
I would give it 6 if it were possible October 19, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
Since her mother and I divorced approximately 15 years ago, my daughter has lived approximately half the week with each of us. In my opinion, and this is backed up by independent observers, we have an excellent relationship. We share a business, part-time on my part, where we mow, rake leaves, shovel snow and do other odd jobs. Our clients are almost all retirees or elderly widows. All of our clients praise her work ethic and how she will see what is to be done and just do it. A woman who counseled her over a few issues once commented that we often sound like siblings rather than a father and daughter.
However, reading this book has convinced me that things can be even better. While we talk incessantly about politics, macroeconomics, general business and our joint employment, the conversation rarely goes into her personal relationships. She is uncomfortable talking to me about personal issues, all conversations seem to get started only after a major event occurs. The advice in this book about how a father can get such conversations started with their daughter is something that I am going to begin following shortly after I complete this review. We are going to be spending this afternoon doing some yard work and I am going to move the conversation towards her personal life. I encourage all fathers and daughters to read this book and take it very seriously. Nielsen approaches the problem of father-daughter communication from both sides without taking sides, which is the only way in which it will work.
Another feature of this book that I applaud to the point where my hands are raw is that Nielsen points out some facts in support of fathers that debunk common and sometimes dangerous misconceptions. For example:
On page 143
*) "80 percent of the dads earn most of the money for the family - of those 20 percent earn all of it."
*) "Counting housework, childcare and paid work, most mothers work only forty-one hours a week while most fathers work fifty-one hours."
On page 137
*) "For example, 906,000 children are abused or neglected every year - and 1,500 of them die, most under the age of four. More than forty percent of these children are neglected or abused by their mothers acting alone, 18 percent by their fathers alone, and 17 percent by parents together. "
Several years ago, I dated a woman who was a child abuse investigator and she was emphatic in telling me that in her experience, women committed the majority of child abuse. A position firmly supported by Nielsen, yet somehow lost in the common wisdom. Which is another point where I applaud her, as she is severely critical of the media that glorifies the mother and portrays fathers as inept and incompetent.
I generally have a low opinion of books in the category of self-help, often referring to them as "self-hype." Authors of such books use high-sounding language and superlatives, as if the more you use them the better the book. This is a book soundly based in the reality of the complexity of relationships between a father and his daughter and one that points out how to turn a bad relationship towards the good, a good relationship to the great and a great one even greater.
Exposing Harmful Beliefs and Improving Connections Between Dads and Adult Daughters October 11, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
Based on the results I've gotten, Between Fathers & Daughters is the most helpful book I've read in 2008. I highly recommend it.
I am a dad so I have to write about this book from my perspective in that role. One day my daughter was following me everywhere I went, smiling as she trotted along, and filled with joy. Then suddenly I had an adult daughter who seemed highly skeptical about my motives, preferred not to spend much time with me, and didn't find much to please her. How did that happen? I wasn't sure, but I certainly wanted it to change.
I found Dr. Nielsen's book to be very valuable for helping me understand where I was going wrong. I must have seemed as weird to my daughter as my parents did to me.
Trying the advice, I found that the rift rapidly began to close, and we started to enjoy one another's company again. I'm sold.
Dr. Nielsen draws on her experience in teaching a course on this subject. As a result, she has a number of quizzes where you can check out your attitudes and behavior. I found those to be very revealing.
The book is designed to be answered by fathers and daughters together. I didn't try that, but if your daughter is willing . . . go for it. I think it would work well.
The book also made me more sensitive to the ways that others condition my daughter's relationship with me through their beliefs and actions. I didn't try to change anything in that regard, but being more aware of the issue has helped me to choose better things to say and do.
 Better than most father-daughter pop-treatises that deal specifically with raising a daughter September 8, 2008
At first I thought I'd jumped the gun when I read the subtitle "Enriching and Rebuilding Your Adult relationship" but after reading the book I realized, no, this book is far better on the information than most contemporary books on the subject marketed to the father of a young girl. Nielsen is far more attuned to what grown women and their fathers have to say and have experienced than most of the authors offering advice to Dads of girls. She is blunt on the excesses of gendered discourse, be they feminist or chauvanist alike and cuts through the political/cultural-gendered firestorm to get to where real people live. For a father who worries about the fiery little girl he helped make, now a tween, reading this was like a relief-valve that put things back into perspective. The book is like a map of what's coming and how to set up for the best ride down the rapids rather than just jumping into the river and hoping for the best--or as too many of the pop-psych dads and daughters type books advise, diverting the river in order to best control it--yeah, that'll work.
If you have a daughter who's still a kid or all grown up, you owe it to yourself to read this book. If you're partnered to a man with a daughter, or even one of those that claim men are irrelevant, you need to hear what Nielsen has to say... a lot of it will surprise you. Men need to do much better by women in U.S. culture. This book helps.
 Kind of like all the others August 26, 2008
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
There is no dearth of books on the market regarding father/daughter relationships; some are directed to the new father, some to the wounded adult daughter and many go beyond Freud's envious theories (useless now in this post-pill society). Considering the number of footnotes in the text, Dr. Nielsen has read many of them and sought to collect and more cleanly illustrate the information contained within. As one progresses through the chapters, she tries not only to heal the parent/child relationship, but also works to explain how the now adult daughter interacts with the men in her life.
The most important facet of building this new relationship seems to be overcoming the stereotypes and myths that have been perpetuated by the media. Again, we turn to the footnotes, a compilation of studies and numbers that swiftly brush aside the false notions that get us to not get along with Dad. There are also bullet points and insets that work to better illustrate the reality of these father/daughter relationships.
Dr. Nielsen places a great share of responsibility on the shoulders of the daughter. This stands to reason, considering it is most likely the daughter reading this book. I know that I'm reading it because Dad asked me if I would so I could let him know what I thought of it. I do not know if he has read the book himself, but we'll overlook the irony of reading a self-help book for someone else at the moment. The point here is, it is more likely the daughter who will be picking up this text and doing the exercises. It is the daughter who will be trying to repair the relationship or trying to repair something in herself or her relationship with other men or whatever. This is, of course, my opinion, based on the web-sense ads that amazon.com has placed at the bottom of the page for the book: namely shoes, slim-fast, chocolate, tampons, and gossip magazines.
What I cannot escape while reading this book is a sense of desperation. It seems to scream from the pages, "stop judging your father!" or, "your mother is to blame as well!" or, "this is why you are miserable!" and this may be part of why I am not the best person to review a self-help book. It does not matter what you read in a book; you have to do these things on your own or nothing is going to come of it. Granted, Dr. Nielsen's book does give one new ways of looking at things, but unless one is willing to make these changes in perspective oneself, it's a moot point. Reading it on a page is not going to have the same impact as coming to the conclusion yourself.
The first four chapters are frightfully dull if you're not going through this process for the first time. The introduction is the kind of feel-good pablum that will only serve to rob future generations of another Sylvia Plath. I find the allegory of the babies in the river especially telling, but only because that's a mother/son dynamic and it was the daughter of a powerful man who found the baby Moses. I don't know why that sticks out in my head, but it does.
It's not until the second half of the book that the ball really gets rolling. Chapter Five goes into the touchy subject of money and how some fathers are not to be regarded as the First Bank of Pop. By the same respect, it also asks us to be adults and understand why dad might have been a little "stingy" about financial matters. Chapter Six takes a close look at how the relationship with the mother can effect--for good or bad--the relationship with the father.
It's in Chapter Seven that we get to the most important section of the book: divorce and remarriage. This chapter is a stand-alone that should be handed to a father the day he divorces--before the daughter grows up to be a strange and bitter woman who reads self-help books. It is probably the best reason for any dad to read the book and may help save everyone a lot of counseling later on in life. See Chapter Five on why that may be important.
The exercises presented in the book should be pulled out and included as a separate booklet--two if need be. As they are now, they disrupt the flow of reading. Boxes filled with statistics and stereotypes could be laid out better and not repeat themselves. While reading the book, these S&S boxes feel like a Power-Point presentation at some seminar (or a Saturday afternoon's programming on PBS during Pledge Week).
The amount of information is simply bludgeoning and may overwhelm the casual reader who is looking more to repair her relationship, not write a term-paper on the subject. One gets the feeling that the author is trying to impress you with the fact that yes, she really does know what she's talking about.
Another mild problem I have with the footnotes is they are really endnotes. Sure, it makes the page layout a little easier to go through and you can skip this extra data if you like, but if you're the type that likes to check the sources, flipping to and forth to the back of the book is a little wearisome. This is most problematic with repeating data sources. Dealing with hyper-text and tabbed browsing has made me a bit lazy on this front.
All in all, once one gets past the first few chapters of throat-clearing, Between Fathers & Daughters becomes a worthwhile read. It's short enough to go through over a weekend and the various quizzes might help start a dialog. At the very least, it will get you to think about the relationship and that's better than any amount of chocolate or a new pair of shoes will ever do.
|
|
|
| |
News 
