Living Two Lives: Married to a Man and In Love with a Woman

From 1967 to 1979 Joanne Fleisher led a happy life in the suburbs, a mother of two and the wife of a successful lawyer. Then she fell in love with a female friend and everything changed. Her experiences, as well as those of the women who write to her advice column Ask Joanne (www.lavendervisions.com), inspired her to write Living Two Lives, a guide for women grappling with the difficult process of coming out while being married to a man. Now a licensed clinical social worker, Fleisher has conducted married women's support groups, weekend conferences, individual therapy sessions, and national and international phone consultations for women in this situation. She now brings her wealth of insight to this guide to help married women navigate the stages of coming out: initial feelings of same-sex attraction, telling husbands and children, managing a roller coaster of emotions (grief at the end of a marriage, confusion and anger at the loss of heterosexual privilege, guilt, anxiety, depression), developing a support system, executing the awkward phases of dating, and, finally, moving into a new chapter of life. In addition, Living Two Lives provides resources on organizations for married women, suggested reading, and helpful websites. Married women are a huge but invisible part of the lesbian population, often falling between the cracks of available resources. This book is a welcome tool to guide them out of isolation and into rich, rewarding lives.

Joanne Fleisher is a lifelong resident of Philadelphia. She is a graduate of Simmons College and of the Bryn Mawr Graduate School of Social Work and Social Research. She and her partner of 25 years co-parented her daughters with her ex-husband, and she recently became a grandmother.